Self-Compassion: The Skill That Protects You So That You Can Show Up for Yourself (For Patients)
Being a patient is hard.
Whether you’re managing a new diagnosis, living with chronic pain, trying to follow a treatment plan, or navigating the healthcare system—it’s easy to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or like you’re “doing it wrong.”
Self-compassion offers another way forward—one that’s backed by science and grounded in humanity.
✨ Too Long Didn’t Read (TLDR) / Summary
Self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness during illness, setbacks, or stress—not criticism or blame.
Research shows self-compassion is linked to better wellbeing, lower stress, and better coping.
For patients, self-compassion can help with:
Following care plans without shame
Communicating more openly with providers
Reducing anxiety and self-blame
Improving overall mental and physical health
Self-compassion is not giving up—it’s learning how to support yourself through hard things so healing is more sustainable.
Bottom line: Being kind to yourself isn’t optional self-care—it’s part of good healthcare.
🧾 General Information
What is self-compassion?
Self-compassion is how you respond to yourself when things are difficult—when symptoms flare, when progress is slow, or when you feel like you’ve “failed” at your care plan.
Psychologist Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as having three parts:
Self-kindness (instead of self-judgment)
Talking to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love.“This is hard—and I’m allowed to struggle.”
Common humanity (instead of isolation)
Recognizing that illness, setbacks, and frustration are part of being human—not a personal flaw.“Other people struggle with this too.”
Mindfulness (instead of overwhelm or denial)
Acknowledging what’s happening without minimizing it or catastrophizing it.“This hurts right now—but this moment doesn’t define my whole story.”
These three work together to help you move through challenges without piling shame on top of suffering.
Why self-compassion matters for patients
Many patients think being hard on themselves will motivate change:
“If I shame myself, I’ll stick to the plan.”
“If I’m tough enough, I’ll do better.”
But research consistently shows the opposite.
A large study found self-compassion can be moderately associated with better wellbeing. People who are more self-compassionate tend to experience:
less anxiety and depression
better emotional regulation
more resilience during setbacks
In real life, that means:
You’re more likely to return to your care plan after a setback
You’re less likely to avoid appointments out of guilt
You’re more open and honest with your care team
Self-compassion helps you stay engaged—even when things aren’t perfect.
Self-compassion and following your plan of care
Let’s be honest: no one follows a treatment plan perfectly.
Self-compassion helps you:
Restart instead of quit after missing a dose or appointment
Adjust expectations during flares, fatigue, or life stress
Ask for help instead of silently giving up
Instead of:
“I failed again. What’s the point?”
Self-compassion sounds like:
“Something got in the way. What’s one small step I can take today?”
That shift alone improves long-term adherence and outcomes.
💙 For Patients
How self-compassion improves your relationship with your provider
When patients feel ashamed or judged—even by themselves—they often:
downplay symptoms
avoid asking questions
say “I’m fine” when they’re not
Self-compassion creates emotional safety inside you, which makes it easier to:
be honest about what’s working and what isn’t
say, “I’m struggling with this part of the plan”
collaborate instead of feeling lectured
Providers can help best when they know the truth—and self-compassion makes truth-telling feel safer.
A self-compassion practice you can use before or after appointments (1 minute)
Try this quietly before walking into a visit—or afterward if it was tough:
Name it:
“This is a hard healthcare moment.”Normalize it:
“Many people feel overwhelmed in situations like this.”Respond kindly:
“May I be patient with myself right now.”
You don’t have to believe it fully—just practice saying it.
When self-compassion needs to be firm (not soft)
Self-compassion isn’t always gentle. Sometimes it’s protective.
It can sound like:
“I deserve clear answers.”
“I’m allowed to ask for another explanation.”
“This plan doesn’t fit my life—let’s talk about alternatives.”
Fierce self-compassion helps you advocate for your needs without guilt.
How self-compassion supports overall health
Research across healthcare and psychology shows self-compassion is linked to:
better stress regulation
lower emotional exhaustion
improved mental health and wellbeing²³
Stress affects inflammation, sleep, pain perception, and healing.
When self-compassion lowers stress, it indirectly supports physical health too.
Being kinder to yourself isn’t indulgent—it’s biologically protective.
📚 Citations
Neff KD. Self-compassion: theory, method, research, and intervention. Annu Rev Psychol. 2023;74:193-218. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-032420-031047
Zessin U, Dickhäuser O, Garbade S. The relationship between self-compassion and well-being: a meta-analysis. Appl Psychol Health Well Being. 2015;7(3):340-364. doi:10.1111/aphw.12051
Rushforth A, Durk M, Rothwell-Blake GAA, et al. Self-compassion interventions to target secondary traumatic stress in healthcare workers. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(12):6109. doi:10.3390/ijerph20126109
Super A, Yarker J, Lewis R, et al. Developing self-compassion in healthcare professionals utilising a brief online intervention. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2024;21(10):1346. doi:10.3390/ijerph21101346
Kemper KJ, McClafferty H, Wilson PM, et al. Do mindfulness and self-compassion predict burnout in pediatric residents? Acad Med. 2019;94(6):876-884. doi:10.1097/ACM.0000000000002546
Román-Calderón JP, Krikorian A, Ruiz E, Romero AM, Lemos M. Compassion and self-compassion: counterfactors of burnout. Psychol Rep. 2024;127(3):1032-1049. doi:10.1177/00332941221132995
Chen S. Give yourself a break: the power of self-compassion. Harv Bus Rev. 2018;96(5):116-123.
This content drafted, researched, edited, and generated by:
McKinley Pollock, PT, DPT
McKinley Pollock, PT, DPT, OCS, CSCS is a physical therapist with a background in orthopedics and sports rehabilitation. Dr. Pollock earned his doctorate of physical therapy from Campbell University in 2021, is a board-certified orthopedic clinical specialist (OCS), and certified strength and conditioning specialist (CSCS). Dr. Pollock enjoys combining lessons learned from his DPT training and research, translating these into clinical practice. His passions include promoting relationships between patients & clinicians to promote clinical effectiveness, positivity, and efficiency, the implementation of primary preventative medicine into clinical practice, and leadership and education development.